Gotta write till my fingers fall

I don't like writing for free anymore. Working as a writer makes me want to do anything but write during my free time. I do, however, still think about writing, even during those spare few moments, or improve my craft by either reading a really good book or watching the news for the news style.

"If I was any younger, I'll take him as my lover," said my grandma one day. She's talking about her pen pal. This man she met in the US when she was there on a short holiday last year. She told me that they met at a Presbyterian Church and kept in touch via snail mail when he moved to Arizona and she came back to Sydney.

It was a shock hearing my grandma say "lover" instead of "partner", "boyfriend" or "husband". But then again, I have to admit that I am more conservative than her.

I feel, uh, cheated somewhat. She's sort of going out with someone here and I like him. He always comes to our place to keep her company and even helps her with chores around the house! You would think that he will stay away when she's ill but I don't know what his reasons are but he's there at her worst. And accompanied me twice when I took her to her doctor.

The second problem is, my grandma asked me to email him. And continue to correspond with him and pretend I am her. I told her that I don't want to do that and she said there's nothing wrong with it. They are "harmless" correspondences. My grandma don't see a problem at all about the fact that the person wouldn't want to be reading someone else's letter.

The guy is half her age. My grandma's got a crush on him. My grandma's " boyfriend doesn't know about this man whom my grandma's been regularly corresponding with.

All I want is for my grandma to be happy. She always tells me "If only I were young, I would do this..." or "Don't waste your youth Michelle. Do this, do that..."

I am quite happy being conservative and not doing stuff outside my moral code. I'm quite happy. But I'm wondering if I would look at life the same way when I'm her age and I realise that I haven't done anything remotely lewd. :P Except this one time, at band camp...

Either way, I'm happy to see her, at 85, still feeling lust for someone. And, strictly speaking, cheating on her manfriend. Though they are really "just friends". I haven't seen them kiss or hold hands or anything. :P